Category Archives: Africa

Old Mugabe

It’s good to see that Robert Mugabe hasn’t changed since the last election, he’s still behaving like a spoilt child. He’s well and truly picked up his ball and gone home.

mugabe Three weeks after the elections, he still hasn’t released the results. He knows he lost, he knows that the world knows that he lost, but he really doesn’t care. I am sure that his minions are frantically working to put those 3 million spare ballot papers to good use.

Did anyone really expect any less from Mugabe?

The most disappointing thing in all this is that South African President Thabo Mbeki has refused to criticise Mugabe. Disappointing but of course not surprising. Mbeki is of the belief that AIDS is actually part of some White Western plot to subjugate the blacks. He also blames all of the ills of black people on colonialism. He also accuses anyone who criticises him of being a white racist and believes that they are opposed to black rule. In case you are becoming confused, yes I am still talking about Mbeki, but the phrase ‘two peas in a pod’ certainly springs to mind.

I think that Mbeki is probably the only person on the African continent that believes Mugabe’s “it’s a Western conspiracy, they are all out to get me, especially the British…” speeches.

One of the best interpretations of Mugabe has to be the video below from ITV’s Headcases. I was a big fan of Spitting Image, so was looking forward to this programme. I wasn’t greatly impressed although I thought Mugabe was brilliant.

Africa is famous for its civil wars and corrupt leaders, a surprising statistic is that many of Africa’s 53 nations are run by millionaires, 12 of them by billionaires! The fact that they seem reluctant to criticise each other only reinforces this elite club. At least Zambia made a stand on the issue.

The longer these leaders are allowed to blame colonialism, oppression and white racists for African being poor, hungry and under developed, the longer ordinary African will suffer as they steal the wealth from their own countrymen.

“How can someone say the independence has not been good? Do you think I could have 20 Mercedes, 500,000 acres of farmland, and a palace under British rule? Mr Blair lives in a crowded little apartment on some little side street. That is not for me.”
– Robert Mugabe

Elections Mugabe’s Way

They come in threes as the old saying goes, and if we’re talking about corrupt elections, well the old saying certainly rings true. Like the Russian and Iranian elections, we now have another joke election, in Zimbabwe.

robert-mugabe1 Not content with beatings, threats and manipulation to win the election, sprightly octogenarian Mugabe has gone even further, fearing he won’t get enough votes he’s been creating voters to vote for him, and believe it or not, even raising the dead to vote for him!

The voters roll apparently reveals quite a few voters over 100 years old, all presumably Mugabe supporters but also dead. Some even include a former jailor of Mugabe’s!

Other names are thought to have been made up purely for the election, names such as I.P Freely, Oliver Clothesoff, Al Coholic, Seymour Butz, Mike Rotch and Homer Sexual, apparently appear frequently throughout different areas of Zimbabwe.

mugabe This isn’t the end of the Mugabe insurance policy however. Mugabe is not a man that likes to leave things to chance, or democracy. He’s also ordered an extra 3 million ballot papers, just to ensure that the ‘right’ votes are counted.

This is something that amazes me about Mugabe, he’s just doesn’t care who knows that he is fixing the election, he’s not even trying to be subtle anymore, yet still has the support of all of his neighbours and his party.

When the votes are counted and Zimbabwe’s 5.9 million voters have cast 8.9 million votes, he probably say, ‘I am that popular, some people voted for me twice!’

As I said he isn’t taking any chances, the only way that anyone else is getting into power, is over his dead body, as he himself pretty much said:

“It will never happen as long as we are still alive – those who planned the liberation struggle,”

The other thing that amazes me is just how is the man still alive? He’s 84 years old, yet could pass for a man in his sixties. How is this possible?


Perhaps his longevity is due to having a wife half his age? His first wife died under mysterious circumstance, not long after he started boning his secretary and second wife to be. Rumour has it that he did away with his wife so that he could marry his mistress.

mugabe-grace He couldn’t divorce his wife because she was so popular, nor as a staunch Roman Catholic could he marry again unless……well his wife died of some strange kidney disease, or cancer, depending on the source and Mugabe married the woman with whom he’d already had two children.

If he could do that to his own wife, imagine what he must be doing to his own people.

Mugabe Shrugs

I am certainly not going to wait with bated breath to see who wins, Mugabe will win and keep winning until he dies, or somebody kills him.

Kenya’s corrupt ministers blame UK

BBC News | Kenya hits out at British envoy

Kenya may take “remedial measures” against the British high commissioner for failing to recognise President Mwai Kibaki’s government, a minister says.

It is so like an African Government to be caught with their hands in the cookie jar and then blame it on colonialism!

It’s reminiscent of the tripe that youths in the UK come out with in court, e.g. ‘I am not a bad person, I just had a tough upbringing.’ Kenya was once thought to be a shining beacon on an otherwise corrupt continent, and I was as shocked as anyone both by the fixed election and the violence that followed.

The high commissioner was doing his job, precisely as he was meant to do. I hope that they do take remedial measures, and that then Britain does likewise and withdraws our substantial monetary aid from Kenya. After all:

the foreign minister said Kenya did not need “the stamp of confirmation” from its former colonial masters.


I presume that they don’t need our money either then? I can only assume that this is some pathetic attempt to divert attention away from the fact that Mr Kibaki’s goverment fixed an election and has been murdering protesters?