Elections Mugabe’s Way

They come in threes as the old saying goes, and if we’re talking about corrupt elections, well the old saying certainly rings true. Like the Russian and Iranian elections, we now have another joke election, in Zimbabwe.

robert-mugabe1 Not content with beatings, threats and manipulation to win the election, sprightly octogenarian Mugabe has gone even further, fearing he won’t get enough votes he’s been creating voters to vote for him, and believe it or not, even raising the dead to vote for him!

The voters roll apparently reveals quite a few voters over 100 years old, all presumably Mugabe supporters but also dead. Some even include a former jailor of Mugabe’s!

Other names are thought to have been made up purely for the election, names such as I.P Freely, Oliver Clothesoff, Al Coholic, Seymour Butz, Mike Rotch and Homer Sexual, apparently appear frequently throughout different areas of Zimbabwe.

mugabe This isn’t the end of the Mugabe insurance policy however. Mugabe is not a man that likes to leave things to chance, or democracy. He’s also ordered an extra 3 million ballot papers, just to ensure that the ‘right’ votes are counted.

This is something that amazes me about Mugabe, he’s just doesn’t care who knows that he is fixing the election, he’s not even trying to be subtle anymore, yet still has the support of all of his neighbours and his party.

When the votes are counted and Zimbabwe’s 5.9 million voters have cast 8.9 million votes, he probably say, ‘I am that popular, some people voted for me twice!’

As I said he isn’t taking any chances, the only way that anyone else is getting into power, is over his dead body, as he himself pretty much said:

“It will never happen as long as we are still alive – those who planned the liberation struggle,”

The other thing that amazes me is just how is the man still alive? He’s 84 years old, yet could pass for a man in his sixties. How is this possible?


Perhaps his longevity is due to having a wife half his age? His first wife died under mysterious circumstance, not long after he started boning his secretary and second wife to be. Rumour has it that he did away with his wife so that he could marry his mistress.

mugabe-grace He couldn’t divorce his wife because she was so popular, nor as a staunch Roman Catholic could he marry again unless……well his wife died of some strange kidney disease, or cancer, depending on the source and Mugabe married the woman with whom he’d already had two children.

If he could do that to his own wife, imagine what he must be doing to his own people.

Mugabe Shrugs

I am certainly not going to wait with bated breath to see who wins, Mugabe will win and keep winning until he dies, or somebody kills him.

2 responses to “Elections Mugabe’s Way

  1. Pingback: Old Mugabe « Charlie’s Space

  2. Pingback: Out with the old, in with the new… « Charlie’s Space

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