Today my boss came into the office and told me that I was terribly behind in my work, that I had neglected some critical areas of my job and that I had let down many people that rely on me completing my work good and timely manner. He then said that I had tried extremely hard and so deserved a 15% bonus on top of my already ludicrous salary.
Yes today I am imagining that I work for the Environment Agency.
“The Environment Agency chairman today defended the five-figure bonuses paid to some of his senior staff, after an outcry from residents affected by the floods who complained that defences were inadequate.”
Well it never rains but it pours for the Environment Agency, no sooner had it emerged that they were woefully unprepared to the floods, despite repeated warnings, and that they had neglected flood defences for years but they have also been caught handing out huge bonuses to senior staff for their good work and preparation, right before the biggest disaster in the Agency’s history.
“Well, no, I don’t really. I know absolutely that staff, not just my staff in the Environment Agency, at all levels have responded wonderfully well.”
Sir John Harman – Chairman, Environment Agency
Well they have had to haven’t they, it was a disaster and the staff at the Environment Agency have had to cover up the fact they their bosses were completely unprepared for such an incident, despite just receiving bonuses for preparing adequate defences for just such an eventuality. In my book that means they don’t deserve their bonuses, but Sir John isn’t having any of it.
“I think actually, from my very close experience of how they have performed, it is really unfortunate this story is running.”
I bet it is John, there’s nothing more embarrassing than being caught getting paid so well by the taxpayer to do a job than you are incapable of doing, except perhaps getting caught taking bonuses for a job that you are incapable of doing.
Had the flood defences worked and no areas had been flooded despite excessive rainfall, then the fat cats at the Environment Agency would have earned their bonuses. The pointless claim that ‘the flood defences would have worked, if only it hadn’t rained’ just doesn’t hold water. As the name implies the flood defences are there to protect people in times of flood, not just after a day’s rain, or a small period of wet weather but during long periods of intense heavy rain, that cause flooding.
The Environment Agency has bandied about words such as ‘extreme’ and ‘unprecedented’ and some have even gone so far as to blame ‘climate change’ and ‘global warming’ despite the fact that we had a period of flooding back in the 1950s that was just as bad. Of course back then it was blamed on the approaching ice age.
The fact is that if the flood defences aren’t protecting us against floods, then the Environment Agency isn’t doing their job, ergo they don’t deserve bonuses. Besides which, it is a little crass of them to not hand back the bonuses after what has happened, after all they are supposed to be public servants, yet seem reluctant to display any loyalty or solidarity to the people that they failed to protect.