Judge’s penis in the clear

BBC NEWS | England | London | Senior judge cleared of flashing

“One of Britain’s most senior judges has been cleared of exposing himself twice to a woman on packed commuter trains.”

I’ve been following this story and I have to admit that when I first saw it the evidence seemed overwhelming. The woman had seen him on several occasions and had even recorded him using her mobile phone, picked him out of several suspects and identified him on the train several times. But then I read that the defendant was a Judge named Sir Stephen Richards (aka Lord Justice Richards) and realised that there was little if any chance of a conviction.

Apparently the case hinged on his underpants. He brought in a pair as evidence demonstrating that he actually couldn’t flash in them, presumably as they don’t have a pee hole. Of course there was no evidence that he was wearing that particular pair on the day(s) or that he only ever wears those types of pants, yet the “It couldn’t possibly be me, I wear Calvin Klein,” defence seems to have worked. Add to the “I’m a Judge and a Knight and this is a silly woman,” defence, the poor woman didn’t have a leg to stand on.

In the end it was decided that it was all a case of mistaken identity. Even though she’d picked him out of the ID parade, took photos of him and seen him on the train on several occasions, he could have been anybody! Maybe they should have lined up a penis parade.

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